Shropshire Star

Peter Rhodes on HRH's driving, the art of economics and the right way to split a restaurant bill

Read today's column from Peter Rhodes.

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Who pays what?

I WASN'T surprised to see the Duke of Edinburgh was apparently driving without a seat belt 48 hours after his crash in Norfolk. I interviewed him once at Buckingham Palace. He was good company but he struck me as a man who is not used to hearing the instruction "No!".

A WHITE van arrived on my drive at lunchtime and the courier delivered his parcel which, according to the online tracker, was consignment number 45. But surely he hadn't delivered 45 items in half a day? He told me he had, and that on some days he has up to 120 deliveries. It may be legal but is it safe?

A READER takes me to task for suggesting we should accept the guidance of doctors on the subject of vaccination, while I seem unwilling to accept the advice of economists on Brexit. But it's like comparing apples with bananas. Not only is there no universal definition of economics but some economists can't even agree whether their job is a science or an art. Economists are divided into disagreeing camps. Their predictions, whether on Brexit, inflation or mainstream economics, have a poor track record of success. In private moments, some of them will admit that economists were invented only to make weather forecasters look good.

ECONOMISTS may even share the following story with you. Two economists were out hunting. One spotted a deer, fired his rifle and missed by a yard to the left. The other fired and missed the deer by a yard to the right, at which his friend exclaimed: "So, we got it then."

ANOTHER reader upbraids me for suggesting it takes courage for a cop to confront a machete-wielding thug with a Taser. He points out that the machete has a range of only one metre but the Taser's range is four metres. Maybe so. But a machete never jams, misses or misfires, all of which can happen with any sophisticated weapon. Any soldier will tell you of that heart-chilling moment when your weapon, having gone bang many times, suddenly goes click.

THERE'S a bitter little debate raging on the Mumsnet website about splitting the bill when you're dining out with friends. You're hard-up so you choose a cheap meal and tapwater while the others gorge on steaks and expensive wines. Then, when a massive bill arrives, you are expected to pay equal shares. My sympathies are entirely with the frugal (my Yorkshire blood, presumably) and I was shocked at the vitriol expressed by some who denounced them as being "petty" for complaining. Any thoughts?

WHICH reminds me. I ended last week's item on kids not being taught to pronounce the TH sound with this tiny joke: "Any forts?" An email arrived the next day. It read simply: "Knox, Worth, Laramie, Dunlop."

  • Peter Rhodes will be speaking at Wolverhampton Literature Festival on Sunday February 3 at 11am. Admission free. Click here for more details.